TFG: Jake Paul, Youtuber, punching bag.
I fucking hate youtube influencers, especially those tho scam their audiences, so when Jake Paul, an especially scammy fuck gets his arse kicked, it is a time to celebrate!
People who know me in real life know that I am not at all a sports fan IRL. Ok, I will admit that I enjoy watching motorcycle racing, but I am not enough of a fan to spend $160+ a year to stream it.
That is all to tell you that this is going to be a rare post, but because I am a devoted follower of Coffeezilla on Youtube, I am aware of one of the influencers who has been up to his eyeballs in pump 'n dump crypto scams, Jake Paul.
First, it bugs the fuck out of me that being an "influencer" on social media can be a viable career aspiration, so much so that a significant fraction of high school kids dream of riding the wave, getting rich, and being the next Mr. Beast.
A lot of these influencers make bank based on their following, and on the promotions that people pay them to do. But far too many of them also dive into the seedier side, where crypto lives, and that is where they can leverage their celebrity status to guide their followers to run up the value of something (token, NFT[1], whatever) allowing the influencer to cash out before the scammer rug pulls.
Anyhow, Jake Paul is one of these abettors of these scams.
This is a less than 8-minute video from 3 years ago by Coffeezilla[2] that will give you an idea of the scams:
But, Jake Paul firstly views himself as a professional boxer. In fact in November 2024, he fought former Heavyweight champion Mike Tyson and won in a unanimous decision.
Of course, all is not what it seems, because Mike Tyson was 58, and Jake Paul was 27. So, he beat the fuck out of a man more than twice his age at time of bout.
Anyhow, back to the task at hand, just this weekend, there has been a challenge bout between Jake Paul and Anthony Joshua, the current heavyweight belt holder.
Whilst I am not a fan of boxing, but I do know that it has a long and storied history, and I even read about someone who during the Covid era decided to take up the sport, and he learned that instead of just walking into the ring and beating the fuck out of your opponent, the reality is that there is a lot of work to match people who are at roughly the same skill, and that there is a lot more strategy to it that just swinging away with abandon.
Boxing is a sport that was practically tailor-made for the 20th century media ecosystem. The big bouts would be held in far flung, exotic venues (Vegas, Macau, etc), and would be shown on this thing called "PPV" or Pay Per View. For the youngs, that means that to watch it live, to have it unlocked on the cable TV you already paid for, you had to spend $29.95, or more to view the match in real time.[3]
And it generated fucktons of money for the cable operators, as well as for the organization that controls it, and the payouts for the fighters was quite good.
But the transition to streaming, cord cutters, and people going ad-hoc in their viewing made the profit potential become very diluted.
Last year's bout was exclusive to Netflix, and it was widely watched.
And Jake Paul made a good slice of the "gate". But, remember, he was 27, Tyson was 58, and he won a technical victory, aka not a TKO.
So, Jake decided this year to challenge Anthony Joshua, a younger boxer, closer to his prime (he took the gold in the 2012 Olympics) to a match. While he hasn't boxed since 2017 officially, he is 36 years old.
That is, a lot closer in age to Jake Paul.
So, this morning while reading the WaPo, I saw the picture I grabbed to lead above, and will repost here because it is so delish:
From that WaPp Article:
“It wasn’t the best performance,” Joshua told reporters. “The end goal was to get Jake Paul, pin him down and hurt him. That had been the request leading up, and that was on my mind. It took a bit longer than expected, but the right hand finally found a destination.”
Pardon me, I need to laugh loudly for a few minutes.
ha hahahahahaha hahahahahahahahaha ah hahahahahahahhahhahahahahah
This matchup was an Olympic gold medalist and a two-time unified heavyweight champion facing a social media star who became a pro boxer five years ago, so a lopsided outcome was expected. But those hoping to see Paul finally suffer a devastating defeat may have been disappointed.
Paul (12-2, seven knockouts) kept his distance early, forcing Joshua (29-4, 26 knockouts) to chase. Joshua stalked Paul from the start of the second round but did not land any shots of consequence. That changed in the fifth round as Joshua closed the gap and Paul tired; Joshua threw stronger shots and twice floored his opponent. Joshua dropped him again in the sixth round before hitting his opponent with a powerful right that ended the fight at 1:31. Afterward, Paul said his jaw had been broken in two places, calling it a “double broken jaw.”
Yeah, the Youtuber cum Pro Boxer got his fuckin' jaw broke! YESSSSSSSS!
It wasn't even close, the official stats:
Joshua landed 48 of 146 punches, according to ESPN, while Paul connected on 16 of 56.
Oh, and Youtube influencer Jake Paul isn't the only shitbird who fancies himself a boxer, also this weekend, Andrew Tate also fought, and got slaughtered. Click the link ago to see this bastion of male toxicity getting the tar beaten out of him by a boxer wearing pink gloves.
Delightful!
Political Satirical
Alas, it is too much to hope that this will be the start of the end of the insanity of social media influencers having outsized presences, yet, seeing them get pasted in reality is a balm on the soul.
Still, Jake Paul got in over his head, and has earned the "This Fucking Guy" medal.
1 - NFT is "Non-Fungible Token", but it really should stand for "Non-Flushable Turd"
2 - Coffeezilla is legend. He is laser-focused on outing all this skeevy shit, and he's quite talented at it.
3 - I have been watching a LOT of documentaries about the Mafia in the US, and the corresponding organized crime, and the early years, the promotion of boxing, and the gambling around it was heavily mobbed up.
